Mother's Day without Mom

The firsts are always the hardest, I suspect. May is a hard month for our family.

First wedding anniversary without her. First Mother's Day without her.

Mom and Dad would've marked their 50th anniversary just before Mother's Day. She died six weeks short of that.

For Mother's Day, Dad will come over to our house for breakfast. We used to brunch together as a family before she went into the care home.

After she went into care, things fell apart in a number of ways, and life was hard - not all of it related to her. As it concerns Mother's Day, my dad and I would see her, but we'd just go when it suited our schedule. We haven't been together for Mother's Day for four years.

We miss her. We carry her in our hearts.

Her death has strengthened my relationship with my father, which is nice. She was always the glue of our little family, and now her absence has forced Dad and me to develop a new dynamic. That's an unexpected blessing.

It's interesting, sad, challenging, and life-affirming to note all the subtle shifts that come after a death. We miss her, but we move forward.

Life is change, and you must simply adapt. (Pragmatic Chinese attitude.)

Again, we find ourselves in uncharted territory, shaping a new narrative for our lives. This story, I hope, will be easier than the last few chapters, and yet still girded with love.

1970s Akos.jpg
 2016

2016